absinthe

san francisco, ca

website

i was traveling for business and after a stressful morning, a restaurant named "absinthe" sounded like the perfect place to relax. i picked a lovely table by the window where i could enjoy the rare san francisco sunny day, which paired nicely with a cool glass of chardonnay. and with that first glass, i ordered a terrible pasta with peas. with my second glass, i ordered something off their cheese list. this is word-for-word an email that i sent while eating my cheese: "Mt tam cheese from cowgirl creamery with toasted walnut apricot bread and a slightly oaky Chardonnay is cheezydrunk heaven." it's possible that truer words have never been written.

california monster salads

santa monica, ca

website

it really is a monster salad. no one needs to eat this much kale at once. but if you wanted to - you would first choose which salad mix you want, choose your toppings, then choose your dressing. the usual. and as usual, i chose a bunch of toppings that i like separately but taste terrible together. there is nothing particularly special about this place except the size of the salad. which no human could possibly finish in one sitting anyway. eh.

stefan's at la farm

santa monica, ca

closed (?)

from top chef contestant stefan. i'm not sure why i keep going to this restaurant. every time i go i'm underwhelmed by the food. ravioli - eh. burger - okay. fried chicken - fine. grilled cheese - blegh. salad - miniscule. i think it's because it has a beautiful well-lit dining room. and it's a quick drive from the office. it's a very pleasant place to dine. except when it comes to the actual dishes. plus, i once saw steve guttenberg eat here. he looked exactly the same as when he played the creepy mayor on veronica mars... okay, i really need to stop eating here.

9/21/2014 update: drove by today and it looks like stefan's has been replaced! must have been my scathing review.

scratch bar

beverly hills, ca

website

sorry for the terrible picture. the restaurant is dimly lit. a suprisingly hipster-ish spot on restaurant row (which otherwise has chains like lawry's and fogo de chao). there are large rustic looking tables. a bunch of us sat around one to celebrate the lovely cindy c's birthday. most of the plates we ordered were for the table to share, but they have little "bites" that you can order individually. they had a "chicken and waffle bite" so of course i had to order it. it was good, nothing spectacular. but the showstopper here is the 30-40 oz dry-aged ribeye that you order for the table. the steak is cooked perfectly - all crispy and fatty in all the right places. it takes forever to prepare, so order it as soon as you sit down. i asked the table whether they thought derek and i could eat one on our own. maybe, was the answer. well, leftover ribeye is never a bad idea.

sweet rose creamery

los angeles, ca

website

i've never tried an artisan ice cream shop that i didn't like. extra creamy. quality ingredients. i usually get some crazy flavor - sweet rose creamery doesn't get as crazy as coolhaus- but they'll still have something unique. but this time at sweet rose creamery in brentwood country mart, i was pretty boring: a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate - all in a waffle cone. still tasty.

monsieur marcel

los angeles, ca

website

wow. i think i might have found derek's favorite place in all of los angeles. we had late reservations in culver city for dinner, but after shopping at the grove, we decided to just grab a bite to eat at the nearby farmers market instead. the farmers market? it's AMAZING. there's tons of vendors, all of them look delicious. i found a cute shop full of hot sauces and salsas. there's old-fashioned ice cream stands. a brazilian steak place with a crazy line. cheese. pastries. BBQ. pizza. a gourmet grocery. everything. derek, as he does in any food court or market, did a full loop before deciding on a sit-down spot tucked away in the corner. we got two great seats at the counter where we watched all the activity of the bustling market. my plate of linguini bottarga was as good as anything i've had in france. clams and linguini in a delicious white wine butter sauce, topped with magical bottarga. which is apparently salted cured fish roe ... all i know is that it is delicious! so good. i can't wait to go back to the farmers market. i'll be tempted to get the linguini bottarga again, but there's so many options i might have to try something else.

primitivo

venice, ca

website

bottomless mimosas and sangria always sounds like a great idea for brunch, but i never drink enough to make it worth it. and they usually use low quality alcohol, which makes business sense, but makes it even harder to drink enough to make it worth it. otherwise, primitivo was okay for brunch. my eggs were a little on the bland side, but it's probably my fault for ordering a poached egg on grits. there were some better things on the menu that i might try next time.